


The Fallout of Fall Festival

by milieumarch



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-05
Updated: 2017-08-05
Packaged: 2018-12-11 13:46:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11715618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/milieumarch/pseuds/milieumarch
Summary: Emma and Killian were well on their way to becoming an official ampersand couple in their small town of Storybrooke, Maine, until a surprise visitor caused a rift between them.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I constantly have mixed feelings about this story.

The Storybrooke Fall Festival was one of the favorite events of the year in the small town in Maine.  Pumpkins and hay bales were brought in by the cartload to take over Main Street for a day and tables were set up with people peddling wares from candles to handmade jewelry to wooden carvings and other stands were serving food.

As town sheriff, Emma had to work all day (although what she was meant to protect the festival from other than the off-chance that a scarecrow came to life, she wasn’t sure).

As the daughter of Mary Margaret and David Nolan, Emma had to help set up _and_ break down half of the tables and other decorations.

At least she got paid in free food and apple cider for the entire day.

She’d been up since the crack of dawn helping her dad line the street with hay bales and then settling a dispute between the nuns and August Booth about who had which table.  Fortunately, it was resolved quickly without her having to incarcerate a nun or August.

By the time the festival officially opened at nine in the morning, she was ready to take advantage of the free beverages as she walked to the booth where Ruby was serving coffee.

“What can I get you, Sheriff?” Ruby called cheerily.

“As much caffeine as you can fit into a cup.  Or a bucket.  Whichever will keep me upright for the rest of the day.”

“How about one cup and you can come back for more?”

Emma huffed.  “Fine.  But if I fall asleep on a hay bale, I’m blaming you.”

She grabbed the cup and took a large gulp.  “Ugh, needs sugar.”  Ruby pointed to the bin of sugar packets next to the coffee dispenser and Emma started adding ample amounts of the powder to the coffee.

“You’re going to crash so hard once that wears off,” Ruby commented.

“Not if I come back here as much as I plan to today,” Emma retorted.

“Unless you plan on chugging caffeine until your heart finally gives out, you will eventually crash.”

“Yes, but hopefully I can hold it off until I’m lying in bed after the chaos is over.”

“Just so long as we don’t run out of coffee,” Ruby said impishly.

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Has she started on her caffeine high yet?” said Elsa as she walked up.

“You try working the entire festival, including set-up and breakdown, without coffee in an IV,” Emma grumbled.

Elsa wrapped an arm around her friend’s shoulder and squeezed quickly before dropping her arm.  “The place looks great, Emma.  You and your parents have outdone yourselves once again.”

“It’s all Mom.  Dad and I are just the manual labor.”

“Either way, it looks fantastic.”

“I’ll pass on the message.”  Emma looked around.  “Did you ditch Liam at home?”

“You know how much of a grump he can be when it comes to town spirit.  But—” She trailed off and looked away.

“But what?  Elsa?” Emma said with suspicion lacing her tone.

“Killian’s here,” Elsa answered quietly.

Emma groaned.  “Can I get whiskey in my next coffee?”

“Absolutely not.  You’re working,” Ruby responded.

Elsa quickly added, “He’s not going to try to talk to you.  He just said that he likes the festivals.”

“They’re open to the whole town,” Emma muttered.

“Maybe you could talk to him,” Ruby offered.  “Isn’t it about time that you two talked it out?  You’ve both been moping around for the last two weeks.  And don’t think I missed you hightailing it out of the diner this week when he walked in.”

Apparently, both David and Liam had set down their feet on the same day about Emma and Killian avoiding Granny’s Diner, resulting in the most awkward lunch run in the history of both the sheriff’s department and the dock crew.

“I’m not ready.  I still have things to figure out.”

Elsa sent a soft smile towards Emma, remembering the conversation they’d had the morning after the fight.

“Well, figure it out faster.  I’d rather have happy Emma than Emma crying into her hot cocoa.”

“Ruby!” Elsa reprimanded.  Ruby gave a responding shrug before turning to someone walking up to the stand.

* * *

 

_The morning after the breakup, Emma woke up, confused about her surroundings.  As she remembered the events of the previous day, she opted to stare at the green walls of her bedroom rather than face her morning-people family.  Her thoughts were disrupted by someone lying down on the bed beside her._

_“Annie!” Emma scolded._

_“Not Annie,” came Elsa’s voice from behind her.  Emma flipped on her back to see her friend._

_“Elsa?  What are you doing here?”_

_“Emma, you know why.”_

_Emma sighed and turned her head back to the wall.  “Yeah, I guess I do.”_

_“Do you want to tell me your side?”_

_“Listen, Elsa, I’m sure that I’m public enemy number one at your house right now.  You don’t have to be here.”_

_“Too bad, because I want to be here.  And you’re hardly public enemy number one.”_

_“Sure about that?  I basically kicked Killian while he was already down.”_

_“I’ll admit that Liam isn’t too pleased with you.  But you and I were friends long before you and Killian were together.  So now I’m here for my friend who just had a fight with her boyfriend.”_

_Emma picked her head up and twisted it around to look at Elsa.  “Liam’s mad at me?”_

_Elsa smiled softly.  “He’s gone all big brother.  And you know how overbearing he can be.”_

_Emma turned herself so she was lying on her side, facing Elsa.  “He’s right to be this time.  I really hurt him.  And he’s still trying to deal with all the Milah stuff.”_

_“What happened, Emma?”_

_Emma picked at the sheets on the bed.  “I got scared and ran.  Like I always do.”_

_“Start from the beginning.”_

_Emma kept her eyes focused on the movement of her hand as she spoke.  “Milah was back in town.  And she wanted to get back with Killian.  And I freaked.  I told him that he should take some time to figure out if that’s what he wanted to do.  And he said that I always planned on running anyway from our relationship.  So that’s what I did.”_

_“Oh, Emma.”  Elsa reached out and grasped her hand.  “This sounds like one big misunderstanding.  He’s not going back to Milah.”_

_“I know that!” Emma snapped.  “And I’m sure some part of me knew that last night.  He’s been all-in on this since day one.  I was the one who took forever to catch up.  But why wouldn’t he go back to her?  She’s offering him everything he wants: marriage, kids, stability.  He deserves someone willing to go all-in like he is.  And I got anxious at signing a lease contract.”_

_“He’d rather have a lease contract with you than the whole package with Milah.”_

_“Maybe.”_

_“I knew him back when he and Milah were together.  They were different from the two of you and he was different.”  She glanced at Emma who had turned curious eyes toward her.  “He was restless.  He’d come visit Liam and couldn’t stand not doing anything.  Always ready for the next adventure or thing going on.  I got the sense that he was never in the right place.  And then she left and he was miserable for a few years.  And then you came along.”  Elsa smiled thoughtfully.  “And he became happy, not in a manic way, but in a content way.  Suddenly he just seemed to belong.  I don’t think he knew what it meant to want to settle down until he met you.”_

_“Clearly he wanted to with Milah.  It’s why they broke up.”_

_“Okay, maybe he thought that he wanted that life back then.  But he didn’t know what it meant to enjoy being in one place.  It was a fantasy to him back then, but with you, it’s a reality.”_

_Emma pulled her pillow over her face and smashed it over her mouth as she made loud, garbled noises.  “I screwed up, Elsa.  I screwed up badly and I hurt him.”_

_“Yes, you did.”_

_“But I can’t go back to him.  Not yet.”_

_“Why, Emma?  You’re both miserable.”_

_“I can’t just make up with him if I’m going to run in another three months.  If that’s the case, he’s better off if we just cut ties now.  I can’t do this again.  If we’re going to try to work things out, then I need to be in it for the long haul.  And I don’t know if I am.”_

_Elsa squeezed Emma’s hand.  “I think you’re right.  So take the time to figure it out.”_

_Elsa stood from the bed and walked around the room for a second.  She picked up one of the overturned photos and smirked at it.  “Do you remember this?”  It was the one of him in pirate apparel behind bars._

_Emma smiled wistfully.  “Yeah.”_

_“That was during the time that I picked up a few extra hours at the library, so I helped him find this costume for the whole fairytales thing and make all the adjustments needed.  And the whole time we were trying to get him fitted, all he could talk about was going to show you. You hadn’t even started dating yet, but he wanted your approval so badly.”_

_“He asked me out that day, and I turned him down.”_

_“He never admitted to that!  What happened?”_

_“He showed up at the station and was goofing off.  And started spouting all these goofy pickup lines, like ‘You’ve got me hooked’ and ‘I’m a pirate who knows treasure, and you’re the finest treasure around’.  But I told him that, as town sheriff, I couldn’t be seen fraternizing with villains.  And that it was my duty to lock him up for the town’s protection.  Which is how that picture happened.”_

_“How did he get you to agree to a date?”_

_A blissful smile crept onto Emma’s face.  “It was the end of last fall when I got that really awful cold.  He’d heard through the town gossips that I was sick and brought me grilled cheese from Granny’s and soup and medicine.  And then he made a giant blanket nest and gave me hot chocolate and watched movies with me the entire day.  A week later, I found out that he’d skipped sailing with Liam to spend the day with me.  The last sail before they dry-docked their boat for the winter.  And I realized that he’d done so much for me when I wouldn’t even take a chance on him.”_

_“That’s a good story.”_

_“I’ve never once deserved him.  Especially not now.”_

_Elsa walked back to the bed and perched next to Emma.  “Maybe.  But I don’t think that’s true.  And he definitely doesn’t think that’s true.”_

_“Didn’t,” Emma muttered._

_Elsa grimaced.  “I wasn’t going to tell you this, but . . . he asked me to check on you.  I had already planned on it and then he told me you’d be here and wanted to make sure you were okay.”_

_Emma shoved her face back into the pillow and let out a loud groan.  “I really don’t deserve him,” she rasped._

_“He’s not keeping score.  You just need to figure out what you want.  And if it’s to be with him, then do everything in your power to make things right, because—” One side of Elsa’s mouth quirked upwards “—you know the old saying.  ‘A man unwilling to fight for what he wants . . .”_

_“. . . deserves what he gets’,” Emma whispered._

_“Take some time to think.  And remember that I am always here to talk to.”_

_Emma shot her a grateful look.  “Thank you, Elsa.”  She looked downwards before her eyes flitted back to Elsa’s.  “Is he okay?”_

_“About the same as you.  Miserable and full of regrets.  But he stayed out of the rum last night.”_

_“Okay, good.  That’s good.  Take care of him?”_

_With a small nod and salute, Elsa left her alone._

* * *

Later the day of the festival, Emma was admiring a necklace that she’d spotted at one of the stands when she heard a loud ‘ _Killian!_ ’

Instantly recognizing the voice of her younger sister, she froze.  A second later, she heard a shout of _‘Goose!’_   She sucked in a breath at the familiar nickname for Annie, her twelve-year-old sister.

Still pretending to be examining the necklace, she glanced around surreptitiously, instantly spotting the dark-haired man in a black leather jacket in front of a booth a few down from where she was.  Not a second after she saw him, he was nearly knocked over by her little sister tackling him in a hug.

“Killian, I missed you!” Annie cried.

“I’ve missed you too, little lass.  Are you enjoying the festival?”

“It’s okay.  You didn’t help set up.”

“Aye, well, I was—busy.”  Emma could practically _hear_ him scratching behind his ear.

“I know you and Emma broke up.  And I think it’s stupid.”  Emma dug her fingernails into the palm of her hand.

“I’m sorry, goose.  Sometimes stupid things happen.”

“Well, it’s stupid.  And you two are being stupid.”

Killian made a noise too soft for Emma to interpret.  “I’m sorry I haven’t been around, goose.”

“Even—even though you and Emma aren’t dating, which I still think is _stupid_ ”— _And she beats me at Scrabble?_ , Emma thought—“are you and I still friends?”  Emma’s heart nearly broke all over again at her sister’s sad tone.

“Oh, goose, of course we are.”

“Good.  But you should get back together with Emma, so she’ll stop being sad.  And then you can come to movie night and keep Leo from stealing all the popcorn.”

“Not that simple.  But I need you to do me a favor.”  His voice dropped a bit and Emma stepped a couple steps closer to pick up on his next words.  “You need to make your sister happy, even when I am being stupid, as you so eloquently put it.”

Emma almost broke down right there at his words and the sincerity in his voice.

“I’m good at that, better than Leo, who just wants to play video games all day.”

“I know you are.”

Emma peeked at them again to see Killian press a kiss to her sister’s forehead and then wrap his arms tightly around her.  She felt a smile overtaking her face, even though she could still feel tears welling behind her eyes at the overheard conversation of her sister and that ridiculous, _stupid_ man.

Before Annie or Killian caught sight of her, she strode away from the jewelry stand into the crowd milling down the street.  It was time to take the advice her father had given her.  She just needed to figure out how.

Emma was so stuck on her goal that she didn’t look back to see Killian approaching the table that she had just left.

* * *

_“Tomorrow, you’re getting lunch,” David announced, tossing a bag of food from Granny’s onto Emma’s desk._

_Jolted from trying to figure out how she could play off Annie’s ‘REALM’ in Words with Friends, Emma glared at her father.  “Dad, you know I can’t go there.”_

_“He hasn’t even been there.  Apparently he’s got Liam working as his errand-boy.”_

_“Great,” Emma scoffed.  “Liam hates me even more.”_

_“Emma, you can’t avoid Granny’s for the rest of your life.  You’ll starve.”_

_“Not as long as Mom’s around.”  Mary Margaret, thrilled to have three children back under the roof (although downcast at the reason why), had been baking every day since Emma showed up on their doorstep over a week ago.  “Who taught Annie how to play Scrabble?  She’s twelve and she’s kicking my butt.”_

_“What can I say?  My good looks weren’t the only thing she inherited from me.”_

_“Yeah, I’m sure she gets her vocabulary, not from her teacher mother, but from her deputy father who tried to convince me two days ago that the opposite of an ‘entrance’ was an ‘outrance’.”_

_“Hey, that joke is funny, and you know it!  See if I get you lunch tomorrow.”_

_Emma reached for the bag on her desk.  “Thanks for the grilled cheese, Dad.”_

_“Grilled cheese?  I thought you wanted Granny’s Meatloaf Surprise.”  He leaned in to whisper, “The surprise is getting sick after you eat it.”_

_“Ew, Dad, why.”_

_“I’m just saying.  I’ve gotten out of some night shifts with that stuff.”_

_“Storybrooke’s finest.”_

_“Just because I vowed to serve and to protect doesn’t mean I want to run the drunk tank on Leroy’s birthday.  Graham booked all seven of the brothers that night.”_

_“Let me eat my grilled cheese in peace,” Emma whined.  David turned back to his desk and his own lunch as they both began unwrapping food in silence._

_After half of the grilled cheese and one-third of the fries (damn you, Dad) had disappeared into Emma’s stomach, she looked up at her dad.  “Hey, Dad,” she started, “when did you know you were going to marry Mom and all that ‘to death do us part’ stuff?”_

_“Somewhere between me getting on one knee on the beach and the altar, your mother filled me in.”_

_“Dad, no, seriously.”_

_David smiled.  “It was during her Thanksgiving break freshman year of college.  She’d gone to University of Maine while I stayed home in training to be a cop and everything.  And I kept hearing all these stories about what’s known as the ‘turkey drop’.  It’s where couples break up during Thanksgiving after college.  So I was so worried that she was going to get back and have found some stupidly handsome, rich college guy who wanted to make her every dream come true or something._

_“And then she got home and she was the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen.  And she kept saying she didn’t want to go back because she hated being away from me.  I told her that she needed to follow her dreams and I’d always be with her, even if not physically present.  I used most of my savings, as well as borrowed money from your grandmother, to buy a ring and proposed that week.  We didn’t get married until after she graduated, but I knew then.”_

_He and Emma sat quietly for a few minutes, the father lost in memories while the daughter processed everything._

_“Did you two ever fight?  Not small squabbles but a big blow-out fight?” Emma asked shyly._

_David’s smile faded.  “Once,” he stuttered._

_“Over?” Emma prodded when he didn’t continue after a few seconds._

_“I wanted to keep you,” he stated._

_Emma swallowed heavily.  “When I was a baby?”_

_David nodded.  “We were discussing options when your mother was pregnant.  She wanted to give you up for adoption.  To ‘give you your best chance’.  She’d already been accepted into colleges and said if we kept you you’d grow up raised by two kids who were barely scraping by.  She’d hoped that you’d be raised by some nice family.”_

_“She couldn’t have known,” Emma whispered, thinking back on her foster-system days._

_“I know.  I told her that even if we couldn’t give you the best toys, we’d still know that you were growing up being loved with all of our hearts.  She accused me of saying that she didn’t love you.  I told her that she was being too optimistic and idealizing the idea of adoption.  Lots of mean things were said on both sides and we didn’t talk for a few days._

_“Finally, we both apologized and talked it over.  I decided she was probably right and neither of us could raise a child.  And she said we’d make sure that you were going into a good family before we gave you up.  And we thought we had, just—”_

_“They sent me back into the system after three years when they had their own child,” Emma finished._

_“Yeah.  If I’d known that, I would’ve taken you back.  If I’d known anything about how you would grow up, I would have held onto you as a newborn and not let anyone take you away ever.”_

_Emma lurched out of her chair and wrapped her arms around her father tightly.  He returned the embrace as she buried her head into his chest.  “You couldn’t have known,” she said into his shirt.  “You tried your best to give me a good life.”_

_“I know.  But I would give anything to remake that decision.”_

_“You would’ve been a great dad.”  Emma could feel tears leaking out of her eyes.  “You are a great dad.”_

_He tightened his hold on her before stepping back with a grin.  “I would’ve been the world’s worst helicopter-dad.  You would’ve had to take me to all your classes.”  He gasped dramatically and added, “And think of how many years of my jokes you missed out on!”_

_Emma rolled her eyes.  “On second thought, maybe the system wasn’t that bad.”_

_“Emma,” David called, his tone sobering.  “I know that this thing with Killian has been really rough on you, and you’ve got a lot to sort through.”  Emma groaned but he continued, “I just want to say that if he makes you happy, and I mean really happy, you need to grab onto him and not let go.  Unless he wants you to.  But he’d be an idiot to not want you.  And he’s not an idiot.  I think.”_

_“Dad, I get what you mean.  And I’ll figure it out.”_

_“My offer to hit him still stands.”_

_“Unnecessary use of force,” Emma muttered under her breath as she went back to her lunch and game with Annie._

* * *

Emma Swan was going to get her Killian back.

_If he makes you happy, and I mean really happy, you need to grab onto him and not let go._

It would probably take a fair amount of apologies and talking about feelings (which Emma was distinctly not a fan of), but if anyone deserved that from her, it was Killian.  The stupid man was adored by both her parents and her siblings and adored them in return.  He cared for them even before he and Emma got together.  And he’d asked two separate people now to look after her since they’d broken up.

It just wasn’t fair.

So Emma Swan was going to suck up her pride and fear and she was going to do everything in her power to patch their relationship.  If only she could find him in this absurd throng of people.

Usually the crowds at the festivals made her proud of all the work her parents did in organizing town events.  But now, it was frustratingly hindering her from getting back to the man she loved.  It took everything in her power to avoid cursing out the brother-miners as she shoved through the crowd, hoping she looked like she was on sheriff business.

Finally, she caught a glimpse of Killian’s messy hair ahead of her.  She slipped between people until she could see him more clearly.

He wasn’t alone.  _She_ was with him.

Killian leaned closer to Milah laughing.  Soon she was laughing along with him.

They continued to chat with Killian first looking confused and then grinning.  His face fell briefly but then he was back to smiling as she kissed him on the cheek.  He said something to her and then hugged her.

Emma’s heart broke once more.

She’d missed her chance.  Of course he’d gone back to Milah, his first love.

Unsure whether she wanted to cry or vomit, Emma turned on her heel and rushed to the place where she’d last seen her father.  Fortunately, he was still standing there.

“Dad, I need you to take over police duty for a few minutes.”

“Yeah, sure.”  David looked closely at her.  “Are you okay, Emma?”

She forced her lips into a smile.  “Yeah.  Just need a break.  Thanks, Dad.”  With that, she hurried off to somewhere she could be alone.

* * *

_Quite fortunately, Granny had not filed any sort of complaint about the scene she, Killian, Liam, and Milah had created at the diner._

_Nor had Leroy gotten drunk and started a brawl (yet, the night was still young)._

_Nor had any dogs escaped from yards, kids driven cars into ditches, nor any of the things that would require the attentions of the town sheriff._

_Which meant Emma had finished paperwork from previous days and made a couple phone calls to the mayor and other parties involved in the upcoming town events and got to go home early._

_So now, stuck in her and Killian’s apartment with a couple hours before the man was due home, she was freaking out._

_Milah was back.  Milah.  Was back.  Killian’s Milah.  The one who left and broke his heart.  So badly that he still got quiet at times or occasionally frantic if she stayed late at work and he came home to an empty house.  So badly that Liam still checked in with him, hushed conversations when they thought she was focused on something else._

_It wasn’t hard to figure out that something had happened to Killian before she showed up in town.  When people first heard of his flirtations, they often said things like “It’s good to see him showing interest again” and “He’s been through a lot”, followed by “You’re good for him” and “I haven’t seen him smile like that in a while” when they eventually got together.  An attractive man in his twenties doesn’t solicit comments like that unless he’s been through a rough break-up._

_And now, the reason for all those remarks from both close friends and virtual strangers was in Storybrooke._

_Emma took a deep breath and pressed the heels of her hands into her eye sockets._

_Maybe she was overreacting.  Sure, Milah wasn’t in Storybrooke for the scenic ocean view and small-town atmosphere; she’d told Emma herself that she was looking for Killian.  But maybe she was just here to apologize.  After all, she’d torn the man to shreds by leaving with absolutely no word.  Maybe the guilt had been digging at her for the past six years, and she’d come to make her amends.  She’d apologize, maybe stick around for a few days to reconnect, and then be on her way.  Nothing would change in the town or with Killian and Emma._

_Then again, maybe she was here for more._

_Milah, sweeping back into town with heartfelt pleas for redemption and entreaties for another chance to win Killian’s heart.  Six years was a long time.  Plenty to decide that you were ready to settle down, despite previous hesitations.  Maybe the picket-fence life didn’t sound so bad to Milah anymore, especially if it was with Killian.  She was ready for the whole package, the jobs with regular hours and kids and sensible cars and cable TV subscription.  Maybe Killian would decide he was ready for that, too._

_Sure, he’d been playing house with Emma for the past two months, but it wasn’t like there was any serious commitment in the whole set-up.  Other than a lease contract, and that could be dealt with.  They hadn’t talked about anything more than just sharing a living space.  No looking at houses or rings or, dear god, strollers.  Emma knew she wasn’t ready for that kind of talk.  Not that she wasn’t committed to her relationship with Killian, but until three years ago, she hadn’t even had parents, let alone thoughts of becoming one.  But maybe Killian did want all that, and maybe he was tired of waiting for her to get with the program.  If Milah was laying all that on the table and he was ready for it—_

_But Milah had left him.  Perhaps, despite whatever promises she spoke about changing and being ready, he wouldn’t be able to trust her and wouldn’t go back to her.  That was a thing that happened, right?_

_But did Emma really just want Killian staying with her because he refused to get back together with Milah?  Wasn’t that the same as being second-best?  Just call her a geyser, because she was Old Faithful: predictable and reliable._

_No._

_She shouldn’t be doing this to herself._

_She’d wait.  Killian would be back soon.  He’d explain everything.  They’d laugh over how weird it is to see exes from days past and then order a pizza and spend the rest of the evening on the couch.  Maybe he’d call in sick and she’d let her dad (who was sheriff before her but stepped down to be a part-time deputy) keep Storybrooke safe the next day and they wouldn’t leave their apartment all day._

_Everything would be okay._

_She just needed something to distract herself with until she got to “okay”._

_She could—she could—  She glanced around frantically at the apartment before her eyes lit upon a couple dirty dishes in the sink, probably from Killian’s breakfast that morning.  She could clean._

_Cleaning was cathartic and all that.  Most importantly, it would keep her busy until Killian got home.  Then he would explain everything._

_She just had to make it to then._

* * *

The festival was a lot of fun, Killian had to admit, even though he was aware every second of the gaping absence of Emma’s hand in his.  He’d spotted her a couple of times, even though it seemed like everyone in town was celebrating one of the last few days of decent weather for the year.

He thought he’d caught sight of her blonde hair in the crowd ahead of him and was about to promptly turn around when someone grabbed his wrist.  He turned and locked eyes with his ex-girlfriend.

“Milah,” he breathed out.

She smiled.  “Hello, Killian.”

He stared wide-eyed for a few minutes.  “Hi.  Uh, how are you?”

“I’m good.”  She gestured around herself.  “This is quite the event.”

“Yeah, Mary Margaret has outdone herself once more.”

“Not quite Mardi Gras in New Orleans though.”

Killian chuckled, thinking back on the crazy party day they’d had back when they were together.  “Nothing is.  But I hear that, after some spiked apple cider, Leroy will take off his shirt for beads.  So not that different.”

Milah laughed heartily.  “Maybe I’ll stick around long enough to see that.”

Killian furrowed his brow.  “Are you leaving?”

She nodded.  “I only came to Storybrooke to see you.  Either to make amends or, well, you know . . .”  She trailed off and glanced at one of the nearby booths.  “But even though I’m ready to stay in one place, that place isn’t Storybrooke.  I was thinking maybe Chicago or New York?”

Killian grinned.  “You’ll do bloody brilliant in either of those places.  Put down some roots, but plenty of excitement always.  They’ll suit you.”

“Storybrooke suits you,” Milah commented.  “You’re so much _more_ than when we were together.”

He cocked his head to the side.  “More what?”

“More confident?  I don’t know.  More Killian, maybe.”

“More Killian,” he mused.  “I like that.”

“I’m leaving later today.  I just wanted to find you and actually say goodbye this time.”

“Oh.”  He scratched behind his ear.

“Killian, I’m sorry for all this.  If I made you uncomfortable being back here.  I don’t know what I was thinking, except that maybe I wasn’t.”

“Milah, it’s fine.”

“No, it’s not.  I barged back into your life and tried to make myself welcome where I wasn’t.”  She took a deep breath and met his eyes.  “Is it true I ruined your current relationship?”

“Er, ‘ruined’ might not be the best word.  It’s salvageable, I hope.  And it wasn’t really you so much as—”

“Killian,” she rebuked.

“Yeah.  But I’m working on it.”  He sighed.  “You showing up catalyzed the blow-up.  But the problems existed before you.”

“They always do.  But I didn’t help with that, and for that, I am sorry.  I wish you the best of luck in fixing things.”

He hummed and nodded.  “Thank you, Milah.  And even though things went sort of chaotic, you coming back, the closure I got from that, it was nice.  So, thank you.”

“I needed this, too.  And it was nice seeing you again.”  She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek.  “Good luck with the rest of your life.”

He smiled.  “And good luck finding yourself in New York or Chicago or wherever you land.”

“I’d say the same thing, but you’ve clearly already found yourself.  Now, you just have to get it all back.”

He stepped forward and hugged her.  She returned the embrace before pulling back, nodding, and returning to Granny’s.

Killian watched her leave before turning back to the festival with a bounce in his step.

* * *

_Emma had made her excuses and then fled to the back hallway of the diner, her fingers tapping anxiously on her phone to select the well-used contact._

_“_ Swan _” came the relaxed voice of her boyfriend.  “_ Miss me already?”

_“Killian, ask Liam for some time off.  You need to get down to Granny’s.  Now.”_

_“_ Swan, is everything okay?  Are you all right? _”_

_“Just get down here.”  She paused as he continued to ask questions.  “You know what?  Just give the phone to Liam.”_

_“_ Swan!  Are you okay? _”_

_“I’m fine.”_

_“_ Emma _,” he whined._

_“To Liam.”_

_She waited a few seconds, hoping he would follow her directions.  Then Liam’s voice came over the line, “_ Emma? _”_

_“Hey, Liam.  Killian needs to get down here.”  She could still hear Killian’s frantic questioning in the background._

_“_ What’s going on, lass?” _Liam asked coolly._

_“It’s Milah.  She’s here.  She’s looking for Killian.”_

_Liam’s “_ damn _” was followed by a loud “_ What’s going on? _” from Killian.  “_ All right, lass.  We’ll be there. _”_

_The line clicked off and Emma took in a deep breath.  She stood in the hallway, just breathing and trying to clear her rushing thoughts for a few minutes until Ruby burst through the door._

_“Emma, what was that?”_

_“Nothing.  I had to call Killian.”_

_Ruby pointed a red nail at Emma’s chest.  “Not that.  What happened in there.”  She jerked her thumb back towards the diner.  “Who is that woman?”_

_“That’s Milah.”_

_“I got that.  Do you know about her?  How does she know Killian?”_

_Emma sighed, slumping her shoulders forward a bit.  “They used to travel together, like she said.  And they were together.  Until they wanted different things and she left.  He was pretty torn up about it for years.”_

_“Was?”_

_Emma sent her a pitiful look.  “Yeah, I mean, I think so.  You don’t think he would be with me and still hung up on this other woman, do you?”_

_“Oh, no, sweetie, of course not.  You just have to see the way he looks at you.  The only woman that man is hung up on is Emma Swan, and can you blame him?”_

_“Thanks, Ruby.  But shouldn’t you be working?”_

_Ruby dismissed Emma’s concern with a wave of her hand.  “Granny isn’t that old.  She can handle the diner by herself for a few minutes.  Just needed to make sure you weren’t back here about to tear your hair out.”_

_Emma gave Ruby a grating look.  “I’m fine.  Now let’s get back out there.”_

_“Why?  Worried about rumors about why we’ve been back here so long?”  She waggled her eyebrows exaggeratedly._

_Emma pushed her back into the diner proper, and Ruby trotted off to take orders from a nearby table.  Emma continued to lurk in the back of the diner and quietly observed the woman,_ Milah _, who had taken a seat at one of the tables.  She stayed there for a few minutes until Killian burst through the door of the diner with Liam on his heels._

_“Swan,” he gasped, his eyes darting around.  But before they found her standing in the back, they landed on Milah, who had stood at his entrance.  His eyes widened and he gulped.  “Milah.”_

_“Killian,” she replied in her clipped accent._

_He stood motionless until Granny bustling by snapped him out of his transfixed state.  He then lurched towards her until he was standing directly in front of her.  “What are you doing here?” he hissed._

_“Can we talk?” she responded coolly._

_He nodded towards a vacant booth and she headed towards it with him on her heels.  As they were settling in the booth, Liam walked over to where Emma was still paralyzed in the back.  He wrapped his arm around her shoulder._

_“You okay there, Sheriff?”_

_“It’s—uh—a lot to take in,” she muttered back.  “I mean, I’ve heard the story and all but . . . that’s Milah._ The _Milah.  The one who broke him for years.”_

_“And you’re Emma, the one who fixed him.  Lass, don’t start questioning your role in this drama.”_

_Emma looked up at him gratefully.  “Thanks, Liam.  Hey, why are you down here?  I only said for Killian to come.”_

_“If you think I’m going to let my little brother go alone when you tell me that Milah’s back in town, then you don’t know how protective and controlling of an older brother I am.  Also maybe I’m just here to see my favorite sister-in-law.”  He nudged her with the last line._

_Emma blushed and broke their eye contact.  “We’re not married.”_

_“And more fool is my brother for it.”  Emma shuffled her feet awkwardly, so Liam pasted on, “I’ve always wanted an in-law who’s in the law.”_

_Emma shoved him in the shoulder as he preened at his own joke.  They then both fell silent and watched the interaction between Killian and his ex-girlfriend.  Killian’s mouth was set in a stern line while Milah talked.  He occasionally nodded or shook his head, but his expression refused to change._

_“Is he going to be okay?” Emma asked shyly._

_Liam jerked his head to look at her.  “Oh, Emma.  My little brother is strong, stronger than I ever give him credit for.  Seeing Milah again is tough, but he’ll be just fine.”_

_He used his arm still around her shoulder to pull her into a proper hug.  As they separated, Emma finally caught Killian’s eye.  Killian muttered something to Milah who nodded and he stood and walked over to his brother and girlfriend.  Killian wrapped an elbow around Emma’s arm and pulled her into the hallway._

_“Killian, I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you on the phone but I didn’t—”_

_Whatever explanation Emma had prepared was lost as Killian kissed her roughly._

_“You—had me—worried—over—the phone,” he murmured, placing kisses all over her face between the words.  “Bloody hell, love.”_

_“I’m sorry,” Emma giggled as he continued peppering her with kisses.  “I didn’t know how well ‘your ex showed up at Granny’s’ would go over.  Killian, take it easy.”_

_He pulled back and grinned lazily at her._

_“How—how are you?” she questioned tentatively._

_His entire face dropped, and he leaned his head forward to rest on her shoulder.  “I’ll be all right, lass, don’t worry about me.”  He sighed and Emma shivered as his warm breath skimmed her arm.  “It’s—a lot to take in right now, I’m not going to lie.  I didn’t really expect to see Mil—her ever again and, quite honestly, did not want to.  But now all those feelings, everything unresolved from that situation is back and I—I—”_

_Hearing him choke on his words, Emma wrapped her arms around his back and yanked him closer.  He slid his arms around her back and returned the hug.  His breath puffed against her neck softly until he sucked in a large breath._

_“Why is she here?”_

_“Still not certain of that.  The conversation isn’t over.  I just had to come reprimand someone for scaring a man half to death over the phone because she’s a fan of the dramatics.”_

_Emma smirked.  “Your reprimanding tactics aren’t very effective.  And I’m the sheriff.  If anyone’s going to be doing any reprimanding, it’ll be me.”_

_“Well, Sheriff, looks like you’re doing a poor job.  Granny will probably file a public disturbance complaint after all this excitement at the diner.”_

_“Damn.  I was looking forward to spending the evening with my boyfriend, but I guess I’ll have to stay late filling out all the paperwork.”_

_“Don’t you dare.”  He brushed a strand of hair over her shoulder and let his hand rest on her cheek, his thumb stroking it lightly.  “Something tells me your boyfriend is having a bit of a rough day and would like nothing more than to curl up with you on the couch.”_

_“Hm, demanding man.”  Emma pressed a kiss to the corner of his mouth.  “If that’s the plan, I better get to work or I will be there all night.”_

_“And I shall see you at home later.”  Killian pressed his lips against hers softly, his hand never leaving her face, then pulled back to look into her eyes.  “I adore you, Emma Swan.”_

_She blushed.  “I should invite more of your exes into town.”_

_He huffed and nudged her towards the exit of Granny’s.  “Cheeky.”_

_As he watched her trot towards the door, he took another deep breath and prepared to face Milah a second time._

* * *

As Killian wove his way through the crowd of the festival, he spotted the sheriff’s deputy, David.

“David, mate!” he called.

David looked up and scanned the crowd for him.  “Killian, hi!”

Killian ducked through the outer edge of the crowd and landed next to David.  David clapped him on the shoulder.  “Good work putting this together,” Killian said.

David puffed out his chest.  “Most of it is Mary Margaret.  But I can position a mean hay bale.”

“Is this your handiwork?” Killian joked, gesturing to a hay bale that had been knocked from its original place.  David grumbled and fixed the bale.  “Where is the lovely Mary Margaret?”

“Running some games for the children.  The rest of my clan has run off to somewhere.”

“Aye, I saw your daughter a while ago.”

“Emma?” David asked, surprised.

“Er, no.  Little Annie.  We spoke for a few minutes.”

David nodded.  “I was hoping you’d say Emma.  Might explain why she ran off.  But Annie misses you.”

“And I miss the little goose.  Is something wrong with Emma?”

“Other than the obvious?” David laughed before stopping abruptly.  “She just asked me to take over playing sheriff while she took a break.  Usually she’s unstoppable at these events.”

“Do you want me to go look for her?  See if she’s okay?”

“No, no.”  David narrowed his eyes as he inspected the younger man.  “Killian, what’s going on?”

“I made a mistake, David, in regards to your daughter.  And now I know that I made a mistake and what a huge mistake it was, so I plan on doing everything in my power to rectify it.  I hope it’s not too late.”

David observed Killian for a few more seconds before his face broke into a wide grin and he placed his hand back onto his shoulder.  “I knew that you’d figure it out.”

Killian smiled weakly back at him.  “I’m surprised I’m not staring at the barrel of your gun.”

“Oh, if you ever hurt Emma again, you will be.  But for now, I’ll just let the manly weight of my hand do all the talking.  I know that you weren’t the only one who had problems that they needed to work through.  The shotgun would’ve been if you’d taken much longer.”

“I’m sorry that it took me this long.  I think—I think I get what Emma was saying that night.  And she was right, some part of me _did_ wonder what could’ve happened with Milah and if I would be happier if I’d tracked Milah down.  But now I know.”

“And what do you plan to do?”

“Beg?  Grovel?  Apologize until my voice goes away?  Whatever it takes, as long as she’ll listen.”

David’s grin widened.  “You’re a good man, Killian Jones.  You don’t deserve my daughter, but you’re the closest I could possibly find.”

Killian nodded solemnly.  “Thanks, Dave.  Now, do you want me to go find her?”

“Maybe give her some time.  She probably just got overwhelmed by the crowd.”

“Aye.  Enjoy the rest of the festival.”  Killian walked away from the older man, step even bouncier than after the conversation with Milah.

* * *

_Emma and Killian were well on their way to becoming an official ampersand couple in their small town of Storybrooke, Maine.  Emma had moved in with him nine months into their relationship when Killian had asked suspiciously close to her parents threatening to charge rent and they would be seen at any and all town events hand-in-hand, usually helping Emma’s parents who always seemed to end up in charge of everything._

_Emma’s parents, David & Mary Margaret Nolan (the town’s bona fide ampersand couple), were Storybrooke’s version of a fairytale royal couple, with only one stain on two spotless records.  When they’d been just eighteen years old, Mary Margaret had gotten pregnant.  She’d dreamed of being a teacher and was already going to college, and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to raise a child while going through school.  So they made arrangements for Emma to be adopted and raised by the Swans, hoping their baby would have a better life._

_Emma stayed with the Swans for the early years of her life but went into the foster care system when they had to give her up to make room for their own child.  She’d bounced around from place to place until she was approached by a private investigator who gave her information on how to contact her birth parents.  With a great deal of deliberation and a fair amount of liquid courage, Emma eventually called the Nolans and ended up in Storybrooke in an attempt to form a bond with her parents._

_Now, three-and-a-half years after being approached by the private investigator, Emma was the deputy and knew most of the people in the small town of Storybrooke.  And, of course, most of them knew Emma._

_In fact, the town knew her so well that a mug of hot cocoa sprinkled with cinnamon was already waiting for her when she stepped into Granny’s on a Thursday morning at the same time as she came in every weekday._

_“Thanks, Granny!” she called to the old woman who gave her a quick wave before turning back to the customers who were ordering._

_Emma took a seat at the counter and wrapped her hand around the mug of hot cocoa.  Granny’s actual granddaughter, Ruby, strutted out of the kitchen carrying a tray of plates.  She placed them down at a table before, wielding her order pad, she headed over to Emma._

_“Hey, Ems.  What’ll it be?”_

_“Pancakes today.”_

_Ruby cocked an eyebrow at her.  “That all?”  Emma nodded.  “Your pirate not joining you today?”_

_“You’re never going to let him live down that costume, are you?  And his monster of a boss is making him work early mornings at the docks.”  The two women smirked, both knowing that Killian’s boss was his own brother, Liam, who had been promoted a few years back.  “He’ll be by at lunchtime.”_

_“Well, I’m sure I don’t have to tell you, but that man is something.  Between Killian, Liam, and Graham, Storybrooke is not hurting in the hot, accented guys department.”_

_“I won’t tell Regina that you didn’t put Robin on that list,” Emma retorted.  “Speaking of you and accents, how is your thing with the lovely Belle?”_

_Ruby gasped.  “Emma, a woman of high moral character does not kiss and tell.”  She paused and grinned salaciously.  “Good thing I’m not of high moral character, and I can tell you that there has been quite a bit more than kissing.  But alas,” the waitress sighed dramatically, “she wants to make sure everything is completely finalized with Gold before anything goes public.  So it’s sticking to the library back room and vacant rooms in Granny’s inn for now.”_

_“Remind me never to stay in that inn ever again.”_

_Ruby replied with a smirk.  “Like you’ll ever need a place to stay in Storybrooke now that you’ve shacked up with Killian and are following your parents down the path to perfect, domestic bliss.  God, I can practically hear the wedding bells and babies crying now.”_

_“Whoa, whoa, whoa, we’ve only been living together for two months.  Don’t go picking out your bridesmaid dress!”_

_Ruby’s eyes lit up.  “So I’m going to be a bridesmaid?”_

_Emma rolled her eyes but smiled good-naturedly.  “I wouldn’t have anyone else.  But seriously, Ruby, two months.  It’s not time to learn the wedding march on the organ.”_

_“Ha!  Have you seen the way that man looks at you?  Even after the two years you made him chase after you?  I’m surprised he didn’t have a ring on the first date.”_

_Emma blushed and looked down sheepishly._

_Admittedly, she had made Killian work quite a bit before she allowed him to “court” her as he so mockingly liked to put it sometimes.  She hadn’t been in Storybrooke for a week before she ran into Killian while wandering at the docks to clear her head (she was meeting her parents at twenty-four years old, which can be a lot to handle).  She’d immediately been struck by his blue eyes, dark hair, and sauntering gait but had declined any advances as she was still trying to figure out how to be a daughter.  Even after she was well-integrated into Storybrooke’s cloth, she continued to turn down any overtures for a date.  Finally, over two years after their meeting, she’d asked him on a date and hadn’t regretted it since._

_“Oversentimental dork,” Emma muttered._

_“Don’t forget hot.”_

_The bell over the door dinged, and Ruby’s eyes snapped to the opening.  “I’ve got to get back to my job.  Your pancakes will be here soon.”_

_“Thanks, Ruby.”_

_Emma glanced towards the door to see the newcomer and frowned.  Storybrooke rarely had visitors, so the fact that she did not recognize the brunette woman standing in the entrance at all caused her ears to perk up (figuratively speaking)._

_“Excuse me,” the woman said, striding up to Ruby.  “I was told that this is the place to go to find a place to stay.”_

_“Oh, yes.  Granny Lucas, the woman over there, runs this diner and the local inn.  We can make arrangements for you to get a room.  How long are you staying?”_

_The woman wrung her hands together.  “I’m—not certain, actually.  I’m actually here to find someone that I haven’t seen in a long time.”_

_That really got Emma’s attention._

_“Oh, well, Granny knows almost everyone in this town so she—”_

_Emma slid a few stools over so she was next to the new woman.  “Hi.  I’m sorry for eavesdropping, but I heard you were looking for someone.  We don’t get that many new people in this town, so it’s always something of interest.  I’m the sheriff, by the way.”_

_The woman jumped a bit at Emma’s intrusion but turned to her with bright eyes.  “Oh, the sheriff!  You will be able to help me.  I’m looking for this man.  He’d be about thirty years old by now.  Probably works at the docks.  Killian Jones, brother of Liam Jones?”_

_Emma’s jaw dropped a slight amount.  “Killian?  He’s m—I know him.  If you don’t mind my asking, how do you know him?”_

_“Oh, we used to travel together, years ago.”_

_Emma’s stomach dropped.  “Oh, okay.  And what was your name again?”_

_“I’m Milah.  Milah Cassidy.”_


	2. Chapter 2

Emma trudged into Granny’s Diner the Tuesday after the fall festival.

“Hey there!” Ruby greeted cheerily.

“Hot chocolate and French toast,” Emma grumbled in reply.

“Good morning, Ruby, so good to see you.  How are you today?  I’m great, Emma, thanks for asking.  And how are you?”

“I’ll be better once I have some hot chocolate and French toast.”

“Emma, what’s wrong?  I thought you’d be happier or something.”

“Because I’m getting my hot chocolate and French toast soon?”

Ruby sighed and stomped off to place the order and get Emma a hot chocolate.  She slid the beverage across the counter to Emma.  “There.  You going to tell me now what’s got you in a worse mood than you’ve been in for the past two weeks?”

Emma sipped at her hot chocolate.  “I’m sorry, Ruby.  It’s not you.”

“I’m guessing you haven’t heard the news if you’re like this.”

Emma’s head shot up.  “What news?”

Ruby grinned wolfishly.  “Milah checked out on Saturday.”

Emma’s face crumpled.  “She’s already moved in with him?  But I haven’t even moved most of my stuff out or given my key back.  My name’s still on the lease.  What—”

“Emma, Emma, Emma,” Ruby interrupted.  “She didn’t move in with him.”

Emma’s brow furrowed.  “Then where did she go?”

“She left Storybrooke.  I heard something about New York or Chicago.”

“But—Killian’s still here.”

“Yes.”

“And he’s not going with her?”

“No, you idiot.  They’re not together.  They met and talked here a couple of times while she was here, but she’s gone now.”

“She’s . . . gone.  But he’s here?”

“Yes, Emma!  That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

A smile broke across Emma’s face.  “He didn’t go with her,” she whispered to herself.

Ruby stepped away and came back with Emma’s French toast.  “So—what are you going to do about it?”

“Well, since my shift starts in twenty minutes, right now I’m going to eat my breakfast and then head to the sheriff’s station.”

“Emma,” Ruby whined.

“But, I get off at 5.  So tonight—tonight, I think I’m going to talk to the man I love.”

Ruby squealed and ran around the counter.  She wrapped her arms around Emma as she bounced up and down.  “I’m so happy,” she shrieked.  “Your and Killian’s first meal here is on the house.  Wait until I tell Belle.”

“Ruby, no telling anybody.  He might not even want to get back together.”

“Emma Swan, you’ve got to be joking.  He’s been moping around here just as much as you’ve been.”

“I have not been moping,” Emma said petulantly, shoving some French toast into her mouth.

“Right, of course.  I’ll wait for you to actually talk to him before I tell anyone.  But I’ve got my money on you two being back in here _together_ by the end of the week.”

“Finger crossed,” Emma responded with a grin.  Ruby got flagged down by another customer and left Emma to finish up her breakfast and head to work.

* * *

 

 _She first found out about_ her _during a lazy night on the couch._

_She was stretched out across the couch with her head in his lap, one of his hands lightly stroking through her hair while the other rested on her arm.  The television was playing some procedural drama, an episode from one of the millions of Law & Orders or CSIs._

_They had been dating for just over a month and both knew at least the bare bones of each other’s backstories: her time in foster care and then prison, his father’s drinking problems and subsequent abandonment.  Which is why she felt no hesitation at all when she pulled the hand that was resting on her arm closer to her and stroked over the inky lines drawn there._

_“Who’s Milah?”_

_He sucked in a harsh breath and tensed beneath her, the hand in her hair curling in on itself._

_She raised herself off his lap so she could see his face better.  “Killian?”_

_He opened and shut his tense jaw before muttering, “Someone from years ago.”_

_“Must be important if you have her name on your arm.”_

_“She is—was,” he replied.  “No longer.”_

_Emma rubbed his arm above the tattoo.  “What happened?”_

_His jaw clenched tighter and the muscle jumped.  “You’re prying, Swan.”_

_“Oh.”  She dropped her gaze and his arm while sliding away from him._

_He groaned from the back of his throat and reached out with both arms, gently pulling her back to him.  She tensed, but he brushed a kiss over her temple and ran his hand over her spine.  “It’s all right, Swan.”  Killian grabbed her hand and rubbed his thumb across her fingers a couple times before opening his mouth.  “I met her in my sophomore year of college.  She was several years older but young in spirit.  I was twenty years old; I wanted freedom and adventure and someone beautiful by my side to share it with, and that’s exactly what she was.  During the summer break, we would travel anywhere we wanted to, as long as we could travel cheap.  We would sneak into plays or museums or wherever the guard wasn’t paying too close attention.  Then, during the school year, I would go back to my studies, and she would continue on._

_“This continued into my senior year.  She didn’t come to my graduation ceremony, but as soon as it was over, she was there, ready to take off.  Of course, Liam, being a level-headed adult and all, didn’t approve.  He wanted to talk about job prospects, said he could get me a job with some of his connections.  But I wasn’t ready to be Liam.  So I went with Milah and we continued our whirlwind tour of the world.  We worked whatever odd jobs we could get and once those jobs were up, it was time to go.  It was fun, and she loved it, so I thought I did.”_

_He paused and clenched the fingers of the hand not in hers into a fist and then extended them, repeating the motion a few times.  Emma pressed a kiss against the sleeve of his shirt at his shoulder.  “You don’t have to—”_

_“A little over two years into that life, I broke my wrist.  It was a simple fracture, the bone wasn’t even displaced, and it wouldn’t have been a big deal to fix.  But we were in a small village where we didn’t speak their language and they didn’t speak any we knew.  It took forever to explain to anyone what was wrong and once I did get a little medical attention, I realized I couldn’t do—well, any of the jobs like I’d been doing the past few years.  And I had no savings and really nothing to my name other than some clothes in a duffle bag._

_“I realized then that maybe it was time to follow Liam into levelheaded adulthood.  And I told Milah.  I told her we should pick somewhere and we would settle down there.  We’d get real jobs, save up for a house, and start our lives.  And she laughed at me.  She said she didn’t want to become those people she saw working 9-to-5’s and going home to eat roast beef with their picture-perfect family, drowning in routine to the tune of top 40 hits.  I tried to argue: we didn’t have to become those people; we could still be us, just doing different things, staying in one place.  But she didn’t see it._

_“I asked her to think about it.  She said she would, reluctantly.  We decided to go visit Liam and passed through a few places on our way there.  Liam had just started to get serious with Elsa, and seeing him talking about moving in together and even proposing made me want that life. I brought it up to Milah again, just to see if she’d given it more thought.  I told her that we could settle down here and be near Liam and Elsa and the sea, but she kept trying to figure out where we should go next._

_“While we were with Liam, I asked him if he could get me an interview at the docks.  I thought, maybe if she saw that it could actually work, she could settle.  I didn’t tell her about the interview until the day it was happening.  She was confused at first but seemed excited for me once I’d talked it up some more.  She wished me luck, gave me a kiss, and sent me out the door.  The interview went well, so I decided we’d go out for dinner.  I got back to our room at Granny’s and Milah was gone, along with all her stuff.  She left a note, something about my happiness and her happiness no longer following the same path.  And that was it.”_

_He bowed his head, and Emma squeezed his hand.  She leaned over to press a kiss to his cheek before resting her head on his shoulder and letting the silence take hold._

_Killian sucked in a deep breath.  “Well, that’s some heavy conversation.  Sorry, love.”_

_“No, no.  I’m glad you told me.  I was the one who brought it up.”_

_“Well, now you’ve got one more piece of the Killian Jones tragedy.”_

_She tilted her head to kiss his collarbone.  “You’re not a tragedy.  Maybe just a little dark in some places.”_

_He gave her a wan smile before capturing her lips with his as a response._

_“So,” she said as she pulled away with a grin, “when do you permanently etch my name onto your skin?”_

_He chuckled.  “Love, I’ve learned that, as romantic as they may seem, tattoos are a selfish expression of love and do more to remind the bearer.  So I don’t believe I’ll be tattooing the names of any woman—or anyone, for that matter—onto myself ever again.”_

_She stared up at him with her green eyes questioning.  “Did you love her?”_

_He stiffened and then hummed in response, neither affirming nor denying._

_They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Emma stood abruptly.  “It’s late.  I should get to sleep.”_

_“You can stay here,” he offered quickly.  She smirked at him mischievously so he added, “Not for that, much as I do enjoy our activities.  I have to be at work early.  You just wouldn’t have to drive home at this hour.”_

_“Some other time.  I should go back to my apartment tonight.”_

_He nodded and she leaned over, placing a kiss next to his hairline before sweeping a hand through his hair.  She stepped around him, but before she could head towards the door, he grabbed her hand._

_“Swan?”_

_“Hm?”_

_“You’re important to me.”_

_A tired grin took over her face and she leaned over, this time giving him a proper kiss.  His thumb stroked across her cheek a couple times before she pulled back.  “Good night, Killian.”  She gathered her purse, pulled on her shoes and left his apartment._

* * *

 

“So, little brother,” Liam started, turning to his brother who was sitting on the chair in Liam’s and Elsa’s living room.  “I hear that Milah has departed.”

Killian focused on his fingers tapping against the arm of the chair.  “ _Younger_ brother.  And yes.  She left on Saturday.”

“You’re not upset about this?”

“Not particularly, no.  It was nice to see her and get some closure on that chapter of my life.”

“Chapters can be re-opened.”

“I have no interest in revisiting that one.”

The conversation halted and Killian pushed all his concentration toward his fingers hitting the fabric of the chair and away from his racing thoughts.

“Oh bloody hell, Killian, what the devil are you doing?”

Killian jolted at his brother’s outburst.  “I’m spending time with my older brother.  Watching the football game.”  He gestured innocently to the television.

“I don’t mean right now, you git!  What are you doing with your life?  Milah, then Emma, then Milah again.  And now you’re just sulking in my bloody living room.”

“First of all, brother, there was no second time with Milah,” Killian growled.  “And second, the only reason I’m in your bloody living room is that you asked me over here.”

“Oh, even you have to know that was just to check up on you.  As if you had any plans besides finding the bottom of a bottle had you not come over here.”

“On the contrary, I was planning to go see Emma this evening.”

Liam’s back straightened.  “Emma?  You two have reconciled?” he asked, his voice softening in his surprise.

“Not yet.  That was the hope for tonight.”

Liam frowned.  “Killian, have you thought about this?”

“Of course I’ve thought about it.  I haven’t been able to think about anything else for the past two weeks.”

“And you’re sure it’s what you want to do?”  Killian could hear the restraint in his brother’s voice.

“More than anything else I’ve ever wanted to do,” he responded resolutely.

Liam sighed deeply.  “You know I just want you to be happy, Killian?”

“Yes, Liam.  But sometime you have to trust me.  Being with Emma _does_ make me happy.  And I miss her.”

“Killian, I—”  Liam paused and swallowed.  “I know that I’m hard on you.  Unnecessarily so.  Elsa has given me quite the earful about it during the past few weeks.  I just—I remember the Killian you were after Milah left the first time.  And her being back made me think of that time more and more.  I don’t want to see my little brother like that again.”

“I was a miserable git back then, wasn’t I?” Killian joked.

“Aye,” Liam said, still serious.  “And you weren’t interested in anything or anyone.  I think you only stuck around Storybrooke because you didn’t have the will to go anywhere else.”

“You know that’s not true.  You were here.  And Elsa.”

“Yes, but that alone was never enough to keep you in one place.  It was like you shipwrecked yourself here and couldn’t escape.  But now, even though I think you have that will and passion back that could take you somewhere else, you may actually like it here and won’t leave.”

Killian locked eyes with his brother.  “Only if Emma asks.  But I do like it here.  I like being near you and Elsa.”

“And we love having you, brother.”

“Liam, I’m sorry for everything you had to put up with those first few years I was here.  And that I sort of relapsed the past two weeks.  You and Elsa have been so supportive both times, and I will be forever grateful.”

“You’re my little brother.  It’s your job to annoy me.”  The brothers both chuckled.  “I am sorry about the things that I said about Emma when you first showed up.  I thought she was doing the same thing Milah did.”

“All is forgiven.”  Killian laced his fingers together and nervously twirled a ring around his finger.  “Let’s just hope the same will be said of things between me and Emma.”

“Oh, I think you’ve got a pretty good chance.  Who would be foolish enough to turn down a Jones brother?”

“I can think of a few girls who did just that back in your younger days.”

“That they did,” Liam laughed.  “But I ended up with the prettiest girl, so more fool on them.”

“ _Second_ prettiest,” Killian chided.  “Only I, the handsomer of the brothers Jones, could woo the prettiest.”

“I believe I remember a good couple years of you getting turned down left and right before the woman let you even take her to dinner.”

“She couldn’t handle it.”  Killian smiled to himself.  “I couldn’t have handled it.  God knows, I am barely capable now.”

The corner of Liam’s mouth ticked upward in a fond smirk.  “She’s important to you, isn’t she?”

“She’s very important.  She’s—my soulmate and the love of my life.  And I fully intend to marry her someday.”  He shoved his hand into his pocket and closed his fingers around the box inside.

“My little Killian.  Going to make an honest woman out of the sheriff!”

“At least you know that she’ll keep me out of trouble.”

* * *

_Showing up at his brother’s doorstep not even two hours after his fight with Emma was nowhere close to Killian’s greatest moments._

_The door swung open and Elsa stared back at him, surprised but elated to see him.  “Killian!  Come in, come in.”  He shuffled through the door, numbly hearing Elsa call through the house for his brother before turning back to him.  “Liam told me there was quite the event down at Granny’s today.  He told me you would probably be spending all evening at home with Emma—”_

_Misery streaked through Killian’s body and across his face, and he lacked the will to silence the choked sound that came out of him._

_“Killian?” Elsa murmured.  “Killian, what happened?”_

_He looked at her with burning eyes and she surged forward and wrapped her arms around him.  “Oh god, Killian.”_

_Liam chose that moment to stride into the entryway.  “Little brother!  I hope you’re not using my absence to make any moves on my wife.  You have your own lass—”  He stopped as he noticed his brother’s posture and how Killian failed to respond with a reminder that it’s “younger brother”.  “Killian?  Brother?”_

_“Emma left,” Killian finally managed to rasp out._

_“What?!” Liam shouted.  “I’ll go talk to her.”  He surged forward but was quickly caught by his wife who had released Killian._

_“You will do no such thing.  You need to be here for your brother,” Elsa commanded.  “Killian, have you eaten yet?”_

_Killian shook his head softly, and Elsa laid her hand on his arm.  “Go sit with your brother, and I will finish preparing dinner._

_“No, Elsa, I can’t intrude.”_

_“There’s plenty of food and I insist.  Now go.”  She pushed both men towards the living room with a muttered “behave” to her husband._

_Liam clapped a hand onto his brother’s shoulder and guided him to the couch in the living room.  “Stay,” Liam ordered, disappearing into the kitchen and reappearing with a bottle of rum and two glasses.  He poured rum into both glasses and handed one to Killian._

_“Might as well hand me the bottle,” Killian muttered._

_“One glass.  You can get sloshed later.”  Liam pointedly moved the bottle far away from his brother as he sat on a chair facing the couch.  “Now, you want to give me an explanation that’s longer than two words?”_

_“We got in a fight and she packed a bag and left.”_

_“A fight?  Over Milah?”_

_“Sort of.  That’s how it started, at least.”_

_“And where did it end?”_

_“She started talking about space and time and ‘figuring out what I really wanted’.  And then she had a bag packed and I snapped.  I said she’d been trying to run since we got together and this was just her excuse.  And then more shouting and she left.”_

_Liam hummed in response._

_Killian looked up from his glass of rum to see his brother with a contemplative look on his face.  “What are you thinking, brother?”_

_Liam sighed.  “Listen, brother, I know this isn’t what you want to hear right now.  But maybe this could be a good thing?  It’s like you said, Emma’s always been a runner.  She ran away from foster homes as a kid, she ran from town to town as an adult.  Hell, she would’ve run away after meeting her parents if she hadn’t crashed her car into the town sign.  Maybe her running now is a sign.”_

_Killian stared at his brother wide-eyed.  “Liam—”_

_“Things ended between you and Milah because she couldn’t stay still, not even for you.  Emma has the same problem.  And, Killian, I’ve got to say, I don’t think Emma is good for you.  She was always going to break your heart.”_

_“Liam!” shouted Elsa, who had just entered the room.  “Leave him alone.”  Killian nodded to her gratefully before she continued.  “Dinner is ready, for those of us who can remain civil.”_

_The two brothers, Liam looking suitably chastised but not regretful, followed Elsa to the kitchen where three plates were set out ready to be loaded with pasta.  Each person took some pasta, sat at the table and began eating (or, in Killian’s case, limply twirling pasta around his fork)._

_“So,” Elsa began, “any interesting boats down at the docks?”_

_“Same old, same old,” Killian grumbled._

_“That’s not true.  Leroy brought in a fishing canoe that he nearly snapped in half.”_

_Killian scoffed.  “That’s nothing new.  He’s had to bring in that canoe four times in the past two years.”_

_Liam laughed and replied, “At this point, it would be better to shoot it and put it out of its misery.”_

_Killian smirked, earning a hopeful smile from Elsa._

_“And there’s a beautiful pair of twin wooden boats.  Guess what they’re named,” Liam teased._

_“No telling with this town.  What?”_

_“Chip and Dale.”  Liam grinned at Elsa’s giggles._

_“This town’s sense of humor is something else,” she laughed._

_Once Elsa calmed down, the three lapsed into silence, except for the sound of Liam slurping noodles and Killian’s fork tapping against the plate._

_“Table manners, Liam,” Elsa chided.  “So . . . are you two excited about the festival in a couple weeks?”_

_A pained noise burst from Killian’s mouth and Elsa gasped._

_“Oh my god, Killian, I’m so sorry.  I completely forgot that you and Em—that you usually help out the Nolans with these events.  I shouldn’t have asked; I’m so sorry.”_

_“It’s all right, Elsa.  It’s a fun event either way.”  Killian dropped his fork and opted to stare at his pasta listlessly rather than even try to eat._

_“See, Killian?  You can go back to your old ways of not having to pretend to have town spirit!  Avoid all the festivals and setting up booths and children’s games.”_

_“I actually liked them,” Killian commented, at the same time as Elsa’s reprimanding “Liam!”_

_“You used to hate when the whole town decided to decorate with pumpkins and wheat.  And you always complained about them shutting down Main Street.  You no longer have to deal with all that, little brother.”_

_“Younger, Liam.  And maybe I only hated it all because, back then, I was bloody miserable all the time.”  Killian slid his chair back forcefully and stood.  “It was a bloody stupid idea to come here.  Thank you for the meal, Elsa, but I’ll go home now.”_

_“We’re not done here, Killian,” Liam barked._

_“Yes, we are,” Killian growled in response, stomping towards the front door._

_Both Elsa and Liam stood to follow him, but Elsa fixed Liam with a deadly glare.  “Sit,” she commanded, adding on “You can be quite the ass, Liam Jones,” before chasing after Killian._

_She caught him right before he went through the door.  “Killian, wait!”  He turned and looked at her with burning eyes.  “You don’t have to talk to your brother, and I wouldn’t if I were you.  But you should stay here tonight.  The guest bedroom is yours, and you shouldn’t be alone.”_

_“Elsa, I—”  He started to protest but then thought about it.  “I really don’t want to go back to that apartment tonight.”_

_Elsa nodded understandingly and lightly grabbed Killian’s arm.  “I’ll get it set up for you.”_

_He pulled away in the living room to grab the bottle of rum from earlier and then followed Elsa willingly.  She handed him some sheets from a closet in the guest bedroom and then they both made the bed together._

_Once all the sheets were on, Elsa stepped back.  “I’ll just let you get some rest.”_

_Killian smiled wanly.  “Elsa.  Thank you.”_

_“I’m sorry that Liam can be such a self-righteous bastard sometimes.  He shouldn’t have said that.”_

_“I don’t know.  Maybe he’s right about everything.  Or maybe—maybe—”_

_“Maybe?”_

_“Maybe I just chased off the best thing to ever happen to me,” he sighed._

_Elsa’s expression melted into pity.  “Oh, Killian.”  She pulled him into her arms and held him there as he buried his head into her shoulder.  He took a few deep breaths before pulling back and reaching for the rum bottle._

_Elsa wrapped a hand around it before he got it open.  “You should lay off for tonight.  There’s plenty of time for this later, but tonight, you should process.  With a clear head.”_

_Killian groaned but relinquished the bottle.  “Tomorrow, that bottle is mine.”_

_“Of course.  Want me to write your name on it in Sharpie?”_

_“Perhaps.”  He twisted his hands together.  “Elsa, could you—tomorrow, could you check on Emma?  You’re her friend, and I—I said some mean things.  She’s probably with her parents, but still . . .”_

_“I was planning on going anyway, Killian.  But yes, I’ll make sure she’s okay.”_

_Killian relaxed.  “You’re too good for my git of a brother.”_

_“Oh, absolutely,” Elsa shot back.  She hugged Killian one more time before leaving with the rum bottle in her hand._

_After the door was shut, Killian paced between the door and the window a few times, but he only walked for a couple of minutes before he collapsed on the bed and let sobs overtake him._

* * *

Killian wasn’t at his—their—apartment when she knocked, so, deciding that this conversation couldn’t wait, she went to the next most likely place for Killian to be at this hour: Liam and Elsa’s house.

She knocked on the door, curling her fingers around the sleeve of her leather jacket.

The door swung open to reveal the wrong Jones brother.  “Liam, hi!” she greeted.

“Emma.  What a surprise.”

She bit her lip.  “Uh, yeah.  I was looking for Killian, but he wasn’t at the apartment.  Is he here?”

“Uh, no, he just left actually.  Can I take a message?” he joked weakly.

“No, no, that’s fine.  Do you know where he went?”

“He didn’t mention.”  Liam fiddled with the doorknob absentmindedly.  “Emma, would you come in for a few minutes?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.”  Liam stepped out of the way and let Emma into his house.  He gestured to the living room and she walked in and sat on the chair.

“Can I get you something?  Water, tea, coffee, something a little more adult?”

“No, no, I’m good.”

“Okay, right.”

“Did you have something you wanted to talk about?”

Liam nodded.  “I know that you talk to Elsa.  And she may have mentioned that I said some . . . less-than-complimentary things about you in the aftermath of your . . . schism with Killian.  I wanted to apologize to you.  I was being unfair and a bit of a prat.”

“It’s fine, really.  I probably deserved most of it.”

“Emma, that’s entirely untrue.  You know that I can be very protective of Killian.  I only saw the story from his side—well, to be completely honest, only from my own, as even Killian was fairer to you than I was.  I wanted to hold someone responsible for hurting my little brother and you were the only one I could find.  I thought it was another Milah situation.  But I see that it wasn’t.”

“It wasn’t?”

“No.  Milah left because her dreams no longer aligned with Killian’s, and instead of discussing a compromise with him, she selfishly took the decision away from him.  You and Killian still share the same goals, but you gave him the space to figure out what he wanted.  You still hurt him—“  Emma cringed at this.—“but your mind wasn’t in the right place.  And neither was his, for that matter.  And now they are.”

“I—”

“Oh, God, you’re fully breaking up with him!” Liam interrupted.  “I completely misinterpreted.”

“No!  I want to get back together with him.  That’s why I’m here.  Or why I came here.”

“Oh, good.  I thought I’d make an even bigger prat of myself.”

“Liam, I am sorry that I hurt Killian.  That was never my intention.  I just wanted to—protect myself, I guess?  It’s dumb now, but that’s what I thought I was doing.”

“I understand.  And, Emma, I want you and my brother to be together again.  I don’t think he’s ever been happier than he has when he is with you, except maybe as a child.  But if you’re going to reconcile, you can’t run again.  You have to be in this fully or else you’re just going to hurt him again.  And sheriff or not, I will come after you if you hurt my little brother.”

Emma nodded solemnly.  “I’m in this, Liam.  I promise.”

Liam smiled widely.  “Then welcome back, little sister.”  He stepped towards her and pulled her from the chair, hugging her tightly.  “You and Killian are coming to brunch with me and Elsa on Saturday.”

“You’re very confident that he’ll even want me back.”

Liam shot her a grin with a twinkle in his blue eyes.  “I have a pretty good hunch.”  He stepped in the direction of the front door.  “I won’t detain you any longer, but I will tell you that if you were to head in the direction of Killian’s apartment, you’d have a good chance of running into him.”

* * *

_Emma knocked on her parents’ bright blue door with its cheery welcome sign, thinking that, with tear-tracks on her cheeks and a small suitcase clutched in her hand, she probably looked like the antithesis of that door._

_Her mom opened the door with a smile on her face.  “Emma!  I didn’t know you were dropping by.  What a pleasant—”  She trailed off as she took a closer look at her daughter._

_“Mom?  Can I stay here for a while?”_

_“Of course, honey.  You know that your old room is always there for you.”_

_“Thanks, Mom.”_

_“We were planning on ordering pizza and having a movie night.  You’re welcome to join us.  But if you need some space—”_

_Emma blanched at the thought of the pizza she’d ordered right before the fight.  “Uh, no, I think I’d like that.  The pizza and movie.  Sounds fun. I’ll just put this stuff in my room and get cleaned up.”_

_“Emma.  Do you want to talk about it?”_

_Emma’s shoulders slumped forward.  “Killian and I had a fight and I needed to get out of there.  I can tell you and Dad more later, but right now, I just want food and some time to process.”_

_“Of course, honey.  The pizza will be here in about half an hour, but come down whenever you’re ready.”_

_Emma trudged up the stairs of her parents’ house with the suitcase slapping against each step.  She crossed her fingers that neither her younger brother nor her younger sister would notice she was here until she’d had a chance to clean herself up.  Fortunately, she made it into the haven of her room uninterrupted._

_Her bedroom used to be the guestroom.  Her parents had always wanted a large house and many kids, so even with two kids, they’d had an extra room when Emma knocked on their door at the age of twenty-four.  She’d stayed at Granny’s for a couple weeks, but, when Emma started looking for an apartment after taking the job as deputy and deciding to stay in Storybrooke, her parents had insisted that she take the room and make it her own._

_Even though it had never been her childhood bedroom, the room had absorbed something of Emma.  She looked around at the light green walls and the photos scattered around the room.  Most of them were of an adult Emma and some combination of her parents and siblings but some included Ruby, Belle, Elsa, and other people she knew from the town._

_She froze when she saw one of her and Killian.  She’d been tired and cranky after a long day at the Storybrooke Christmas tree festival and a round of photos with her family.  It had been her first festival since she’d started dating Killian and he’d begged her for a photo of the two of them.  She’d been obstinate that he could take as many photos as he wanted, but she wouldn’t smile in any of them.  After several of her frowning while he tried to get her to smile (all probably lost to the photography graveyard), he’d finally relented and leaned his forehead against hers.  “All right, my swanling, I’ll take you home.”  In the moment, she’d given him a tired, but happy, smile._

_Unfortunately, her father had quickly snapped a photo.  And that photo of her with a small (but still counts as a smile, Swan) smile and him with a look of adoration on his face and their foreheads pressed together, sat on her dresser._

_She crossed the room, trying not to think about how she’d tackled him to the snow in revenge for the picture or how he’d taken her back to his apartment and made hot cocoa for them both before letting her fall asleep resting against him, and tilted the photo face-down onto the wood._

_She looked around for any other photos that he might appear in, quickly overturning one of the two of them and her siblings on his boat back before they’d even dated and another of just him, dressed like a pirate, pouting at her from behind the bars of one of the cells in the police station (they’d done a “Fairytales in Storybrooke” photoshoot for a children’s program in the library and he’d convinced Belle to let him be Captain Hook)._

_Grateful that most photos of the two of them were at the apartment, she scrubbed at her cheeks to rid them of the obvious tears before moving down the hall to the bathroom.  She splashed some water on her face and straightened up some of her makeup before heading downstairs to join her family._

_“Emma!” her sister shouted, running up to give her a hug.  “Are you here for pizza and movies?”_

_“Of course, Annie!  How could I pass up an offer to attend family movie night?”_

_“You haven’t gone to that many since you moved in with Killian.”  Annie looked over her shoulder frantically.  “Wait, is he here?  Are you guys going to spend the whole time kissing?”_

_“Killian’s busy, so he couldn’t make it,” Emma responded.  She spotted her brother on the couch, playing a video game on his handheld device.  “Hi, Leo,” she greeted as she ruffled his hair._

_“Hey,” he grunted back, deep in the thralls of teenage moodiness._

_After accidentally having Emma and having to put her up for adoption, Mary Margaret and David had been more cautious and hesitant about having kids.  They’d waited over a decade before having Leo, who was now fifteen years old, and had Annie three years later._

_Emma felt an arm wrap around her shoulders.  “Look at my three loving children bonding!  Emma, good to have you.”_

_“Hi, Dad.  Have you ordered the pizza yet?”_

_David nodded.  “And I ordered you a Seafood Special all of your own, so you better eat it all.”_

_“Ew, gross.  Is that a real thing?”_

_“It absolutely is.  And apparently there’s oysters on it.”_

_Annie made a face at this news._

_David continued, “You know, we are a coastal town in Maine.  Maybe we should really be embracing our heritage and eating seafood on our pizza.”_

_“Dad, please, stop,” Emma interrupted._

_“Well, if my firstborn says so.”  He kissed her hair and dropped his arm.  “Pizza should be here any minute, so go wash hands and get drinks.”_

_Annie scampered off immediately, followed by Leo after a nudge from his father.  Once they’d left, David glanced at Emma.  “Emma?”_

_“I just washed them, I swear!”  She showed him her hands for inspection._

_“While I’m proud of you for that, that’s not what this is about.  Why are you not at your own place, enjoying a quiet evening with your boyfriend?”_

_Emma shrugged.  “We had a fight.  So I’m here for a while.  I don’t want to talk about it now.”_

_“Well, though I’m glad to have you home, I’m sorry about the circumstances.  Do you need me to punch him?”_

_Emma rolled her eyes.  “No, Dad.  This is as much my fault as his.”_

_“I may be getting older, but I’m still good for a few hits.  I’ll let you have tonight, but I do want to know the whole story later.”_

_She nodded.  “And I’ll tell you.  Just—not tonight.”  She took a deep breath.  “So, what movie are we watching?”_

_“We thought it should be Leo’s turn to pick.”_

_“Ugh, Dad, no,” Emma groaned._

* * *

Killian tapped his fist against the wood on the Nolans’ light blue door.

“Killian!” Mary Margaret greeted cheerily when she opened the door.  “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I didn’t give any warning, sorry.”  He scratched behind his ear.  “Is Emma here perchance?”

Mary Margaret frowned thoughtfully.  “No.  I don’t think I even saw her after work.  She must’ve gone to the diner or something.  Would you like for me to tell her that you stopped by?”

“Er, no, that’s all right.  I’ll find her some other time.”

“Okay.  Sorry I couldn’t be of more help.”  Killian nodded and backed away from the door.  “Killian,” Mary Margaret called, “are you okay?”

“Yes, of course.”

Her eyes narrowed.  “Are you sure?”

Killian sighed and stepped back toward Mary Margaret.  “It’s just—why are you so nice to me?  I said some cruel, unfounded things to your daughter and have been holding her possessions hostage for weeks now.  And you and David have been nothing but friendly.”

“Oh, Killian.  You forget that David and I were around when Milah left the first time.  We understand that you’ve been going through a hard time and reliving some bad memories the past few weeks.  Even though I don’t condone the things that you said to Emma, I know that you weren’t wholly responsible for this mess.  And as for holding anyone’s possessions hostage, Emma is the sheriff.  Do you really think that she would let you stop her from getting all her stuff back if she wanted to?”

“No, I suppose not.”

“Answer me this, Killian: are you in love with my daughter?”

His eyes raised to meet hers, somewhat like Emma’s but not quite.  “Unspeakably so,” he replied.

“Then I can’t possibly be mad at you.  You were so good to my daughter, even when you were getting nothing out of it other than her rebuffs.”

“I’m going to ask her to take me back,” Killian blurted out.

Mary Margaret’s smile went from warm to dazzling.  “Oh Killian, that’s wonderful!  I’m so happy for you two!”

“Thank you, milady.”

“I know my whole family will be pleased.  Especially Annie.  She’s missed you a lot.”

“Aye, so she told me when we came across each other at the festival.  It was wonderful, by the way.”

“Thank you!  It turned out so nicely, and everyone had such a great time.  We missed your help though, especially when Emma and David were lugging around those hay bales.”

“I can practically hear Swan complaining right now.”

Mary Margaret winked conspiratorially.  “Actually, Emma was fine.  It was David who wouldn’t stop griping.  But then the second you mention him showing his age, he gets all huffy.”

“Oh, I miss your family.”

“Some of us more than others, huh?”

Killian dropped his head and blushed.  “Perhaps.”

“Certain members of our family have missed you, too.  And I’m sure that that certain member of our family would very much like to hear what you’ve told me today.”

“You think so?”

“The whole town has been waiting for you two to figure out things.”

“I hate this place,” Killian groaned.  “I’m sure there’s a betting pool out there somewhere.  Probably being run by Granny.”

“Now that you mention it, if you and Emma get back together tomorrow, I think David wins it.”

“Which day did you guess?”

“I had two days after it happened.  I forgot to factor in both of your abilities to be foolishly stubborn.”

“I’m going to fix that,” Killian said resolutely.

“I know.  So I’ll let you get on.”

She hugged Killian, which he happily returned, and waved as he walked down the steps and across the Nolans’ front yard.  As he started down the sidewalk, he felt a buzz in his pocket and fished out his phone.

_Liam Jones: Emma’s heading to your apartment._

* * *

_After his fourth dumb mistake working on a boat (a botched fiberglass patch that he could’ve done in his sleep), Liam threatened to send him home.  He almost took his brother up on the offer but with only an hour of work left, he knew he could power through until closing time._

_Really, if he went home, there was the chance that Emma wouldn’t be home yet.  And then he’d be alone.  Quiet and solitude were the last things he needed that evening._

_He took twice as long and used twice as much caulk as usual to put a cleat on a keelboat, but the job got done and got done well.  Finally, Liam told him to clean up and go home, along with a promise/threat to call later that night.  Killian put all his supplies away, shouted a quick goodbye to his brother along with well-wishes for his brother’s wife, and began the trek to his apartment._

_Thankfully, he and Emma lived close to the docks, as he couldn’t stand to be far from the sea and she liked being near the water, so he was opening the front door not ten minutes after leaving work._

_“Swan?” he called softly, making his way into the kitchen.  He opened the cabinet and pulled out a tumbler then a bottle of rum.  It was going to be that kind of night.  He’d just finished pouring a glass when Emma appeared, leaning against the doorway, with sweatpants on and her hair yanked into a ponytail._

_Killian sighed upon seeing her and strode over to where she was standing.  He folded her into his arms, letting the fingers of one hand tangle into the end of her ponytail.  She encircled him with her arms in return, stroking lightly up and down his back._

_“Bad day?” she murmured into his ear._

_“Until now.”_

_Emma turned her head to press a light kiss to his neck then pulled away from him.  “Grab your rum and let’s go to the couch.  Pizza sound good?”_

_“You are amazing.”_

_He turned back and picked up the tumbler, grabbing the bottle also after only a slight hesitation.  As he trudged to the couch, Emma ran to grab her phone.  Once they were both seated, Killian proceeded to wrap himself around her as she detailed their regular order to the person on the other end of the line.  Hanging up, she scratched at the top of his head which was resting on her shoulder._

_“Are you planning on ever letting go of me?”_

_“Maybe.  Definitely not tonight.”  Emphasizing his point, he pulled her even closer into him._

_“Killian, I’m worried.  You’re never like this.”_

_He sat up and slowly pulled his arms from around her, one of his hands sliding down her arm and then grasping her hand as he shifted a couple inches away.  “I’m sorry, love.  Just feeling affectionate.”_

_“Do you—I mean, are you—would you like to talk about it?”_

_He groaned.  “Not really, but you deserve to know about it.”  She swiped her thumb over the back of his hand and silently urged him to continue.  “So, Milah showed back up, as you know.  We exchanged the typical pleasantries: ‘You look good’, ‘I hope your job’s going well’, all that jazz.  And then she apologized for leaving all those years ago.  She said that she wasn’t ready to settle down and give up her life on the road.  All things that I’d surmised in the months after she left.”_

_He paused and Emma rubbed his arm encouragingly._

_“She said she’s ready now.”_

_Emma dropped her hand from his arm and let go of his hand as if he’d burned her.  “Killian, she—”_

_“Aye.  She wants to settle down and stop her nomadic lifestyle.  Maybe in Storybrooke.”  A beat of silence.  “With me.”_

_“Oh, well, I guess—”_

_“Lass,” he crooned.  “No.”_

_“What else did she say?”_

_“That was it.”  He reached up a hand to scratch behind his ear.  “She thought maybe we could give it another go.  It wasn’t quite our time then, but it is now, or something like that.  She said some things about interviews at places, but quite honestly, I wasn’t paying close attention.  She said—she—”_

_“She said?” Emma urged._

_“Nothing, love.”  Emma raised her eyebrows skeptically.  “She tried to pull the ‘I’m still in love with you’ card.”_

_Emma sucked in a shuddering breath._

_“Emma, love.”  He clutched at her hand with both of his.  “I have no intentions of taking her up on the offer.  That part of my life is over.  She made her decision and left years ago.”_

_“She also came back,” Emma muttered._

_“That doesn’t change anything.  I am with you now.”_

_“But if you weren’t?  Would you consider the offer?”  Killian opened his mouth but no sound came out.  “Is there no part of you that’s at least questioning how it would turn out?  No part of you is even a little tempted?”_

_“Emma.”  His voice held a hint of warning._

_“Because if the only reason that you’re saying no is that you already have this commitment—that can change.   And I don’t want you to make this decision because of some idea of chivalry towards me that you have in your head and then constantly be wondering what would be happening if you’d made a different choice.”_

_“Swan,” he snapped._

_“I just—maybe you should take some time to think about this.  Time on your own.”_

_“What are you saying?”_

_Emma stood and left the room through the door to their bedroom.  When she returned, she was carrying a suitcase.  “I’m saying that maybe you need time to think this through.  And space.  So maybe I should go stay with my parents for a while.”_

_“Emma, stop,” he commanded.  Then he paused with his brows furrowed.  After a few seconds, he remarked, “You already had that.”_

_“What?” Emma asked._

_“The bag,” he mumbled.  “You already had a bag packed.  Even before I got home.”_

_She shrugged.  “I—I knew this was a possibility.”_

_“Oh, this isn’t about me,” he growled.  “You had this plan in place before I walked through the door.  This has nothing to do with Milah.  It’s just you seeing an out.”_

_“Killian!” she snapped._

_“Emma Swan, always ready to run.  Things have been good between us and you couldn’t find an emergency exit.  So now you’re making one, building it out of your own paranoia.  What excuse would you have used if she hadn’t shown up?”_

_“This isn’t an excuse!” she protested.  “I just think some time apart—”_

_“Time for you to run!  As far as fast as you can.  This is your foot out the door.”_

_“You’re being ridiculous.”_

_“I’m not the one trying to get rid of something good.   How long have you been planning to run?  Looking for an out?  Was it when you moved in?  Before?  Have you been preparing for this since we started dating?”_

_“Are you crazy?  Would I have moved in with you if I was planning to run?”_

_He chuckled darkly.  “You tell me.  Obviously, some part of you was ready for it.  What, are you too scared that this could turn into something real?  As soon as you see an actual future, one in which you—_ we _—could be happy, it’s time to cut your losses and head for the hills.”_

_“Killian, you know that’s not it.”_

_“Do I know that?  Because it damn well looks like that from where I’m standing.”_

_Emma strode up to him, only stopping when she was right in his face.  “Then maybe you need to stand somewhere else.”  She whipped away from him and toward the door._

_“Is that what you’re telling yourself?  You’re going away to get some perspective?” he spat._

_“Well, I sure as hell am seeing a different side right now.”_

_With that, she wrenched open the door, walked through, and slammed it behind her._

_As he listened to her footsteps retreating down the hall, he stood and stared at the door, transfixed.  His body refused to move, but he also didn’t feel tears in his eyes so he just . . . stood.  He continued to stare at the spot where she’d last been standing, as if maybe he could conjure her back to that spot until the delivery man with the pizza rang the doorbell._

* * *

Killian took a deep breath outside the door to his apartment, trying desperately not to have flashbacks to the last time he stood across from this door when Emma was inside (and he knew she was inside because even her Bug was faster than walking).  He clenched and unclenched his fist a couple of times before wrapping his fingers around the doorknob.

It turned when he twisted his wrist.  She was here.

He pushed the door open.

Emma stood from her seat on the couch as she came into view.  “Killian!”

“Emma,” he murmured.

“I’m sorry that I came here without warning you.”

“No, you’re fine.  You have as much right to be here as I do.”  He shook his head frantically.  “I didn’t mean it that way.  It’s just that you’re not intruding or anything.  In fact, I-I—”  His voice died off as he glanced away.

“Yes?”

“I—”  He crossed the few steps between them and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face into her hair.  She tensed for a second before carefully circling her arms around his back and holding him just as tightly.  He exhaled for what felt like the first time in two weeks.  He felt tears leaking out of his eyes and pulled her even closer into himself.  “I missed you.  So much.”  He let himself relax into her for a few more seconds before pulling back.  “Sorry, I’m just really happy to see you.”

“Killian, we should talk.”  At his panic-stricken expression, she quickly added, “I’ve missed you a lot, too, and I’m so happy to see you.  But there’s still stuff we need to talk about.”

She slid her arm down his until she could lace her fingers with his.  She tugged on his hand and led him to the couch where they both sat, knees slightly touching.  Emma tried to pull her hand away but he tightened his fingers around hers with a frown.

“I’m sorry for running,” Emma started.  “You were right, we were happy and I got scared.  And I ran away in a time that you needed me to be here.  And I am so sorry.”

“Emma, all that happened that day is forgiven.  I said some very harsh things to you.  I won’t say that I didn’t mean them because I was hurting and angry that day.  And I think some part of me thought those things even before that day.  But that doesn’t excuse the fact that I spoke those words in anger rather than telling you my concerns, which is how a relationship should work.”

“I should’ve trusted you and trusted our relationship.  I shouldn’t have panicked when Milah showed up.”

“I assure you, as much as you were panicking, I was more so.”

One side of Emma’s mouth quirked upwards.  “Any other exes who might come to town trying to sweep you off your feet?”

He laughed at that.  “Unless the girl I took to a basketball game and a movie in junior year of high school shows up, I think we’re good.  And I am not easily swept, Emma Swan.”

“Is that so?  Always seemed pretty easy to me.”

“And only to you,” he replied.

Emma sucked in a breath at his words and then she slowly leaned forward and let her lips connect with his.  If the two thought their earlier embrace was soothing, this one was magically healing.  Killian lifted one of his hands and slowly dragged it through her blonde hair before they separated and rested their foreheads together.

“See, Swan?  One kiss and I’m head over heels.”  He leaned back further but left his hand tangled in her hair.  “No matter how many exes decide to play tourist in this town, I will only ever want you, Emma.”

“I don’t want to run anymore,” she admitted.

His eyes brightened and his smile widened.  “Good thing I never intend to give you reason to.”

She smiled back at him and he kissed her again, more fiercely this time.  She wrapped her arms around his neck as his hand not already in her hair went around her back.  He pulled away but leaned in to give her another quick peck before lying back along the couch and pulling her with him.

She laughed as she ended up lying across his chest.  “What are you doing?”

“I am going to lie here on the couch holding the woman I love as she tells me about her day and all the crazy sheriff shenanigans that have happened in the past two weeks, because it has been far too long.”

“I love you too,” she said, kissing him again.  “But what if we used this time for other activities?”

He smirked and kissed her cheek.  “So intent to defile me.  But plenty of time for that later, love, and more talking.  Right now, I just want to be with you.”

“Can I at least take off my jacket and shoes?  You should too.”

“You can do whatever you’d like, as long as you can do it without leaving my arms.”

Emma ghosted some of her fingers along his side and let his ticklishness distract him as she pried his arms from around her.  She quickly slipped off her jacket and boots, seeing him do the same, and settled back against him.

“Bad form, Swan.”

“Forgive me?”

“Aye, of course, love.  Now start talking.”

She tucked her head into his neck.  “I’ve been staying with my family, as you probably know.  And Leo was determined to finish some video game while Annie wanted to watch the cooking channel every day.  So that led to some colossal arguments.”

“Oh, I’m sure that was fun.”

“Not really.  Dad probably would’ve locked them up in the sheriff’s station except then he couldn’t even get away from them at work.  I think they’re considering some sort of formal legal contract at this point.”

“I didn’t realize Annie was into cooking.”

Emma laughed.  “Oh, she’s not.  She just likes looking at all the decorated cakes.  But it’s not like Leo is interested in being a paladin.  Or, he would, if that were still a career choice.”

Killian chuckled beneath her, pressing his noise into her hair.  “I have missed your family.  I saw Goose at the festival.”

“I know.”  At his confused expression, she added, “I saw you.”

“Right.  Not exactly secretive.  Oh, wait!”  He shifted so he could reach into his pocket and found the box there.  “I suppose now is as good a time as any.”  He handed the small box to her.

She flipped it open and gasped.  “Killian, really?  I saw this at the festival but just couldn’t reason getting it.  How did you know?”  Inside was a simple chain necklace with a blue stone wrapped in delicate wires.

He scratched behind his ear.  “I, er, may have gone up to the stand when you left and asked the owner if he knew which piece you had been admiring.”  He deftly plucked the chain from the box.  “It’s sea glass, you know.”

“You bought this for me at the festival?”

“I was optimistic.”  He motioned for her to move so he could settle the chain around her neck.  Once the necklace was clasped, he placed a soft kiss on her shoulder and she leaned back against him.

“I’m glad you were.  I love it.”

“I also felt bad leaving you and your father to setting up all those hay bales.”

“Ugh, you owe me next year.  I swear she doubled it from last year.  I’m still finding hay in my hair.”

He hummed and jokingly inspected her hair, plucking at a few strands.  “Nope, just Swan hair.”

“I think I took two showers after the festival ended.  But it looked great and Mom’s happy.  Also, Dad and I finally caught the raccoon terrorizing Copper Street.”

“Oh, well I’m glad Storybrooke’s police force is keeping dangerous criminals off the streets.”

“He’s been released farther into the woods and hopefully he won’t be back.”

“Maybe you should’ve let him cool off in the cells for a bit.  So he’d really get the message.”

Emma jabbed him in the side.  “You were the one who asked what I’d been doing.  It’s not like I’m going to be taking down Vito Corleone in Storybrooke.”

“I thought he was dead.”

Emma gasped in mock-horror.  “Did you watch _The Godfather_ without me?  Killian!”

“We can watch it together sometime?” he offered sheepishly.  She continued to pout.  “In my defense, Liam and Elsa forced me to join them for movie night.”

“Liam and Elsa were watching _The Godfather_ for movie night?”

“Liam found out that neither Elsa nor I had seen it or something.  You can’t tell me that you didn’t have movie nights with the Nolans.”

“Yeah, but we watched _Moana_ and _Back to the Future_ , which you and I have seen together.”

“Swan, you know I love _Moana_ ,” he whined.  “She sails!”

“You’ve seen that movie at least three times!”

“Swan,” he whined.

She turned in his arms and kissed him while one hand snaked down to tickle him.  He laughed without pulling away from her lips.  After they separated, Emma slid down so her head was resting on his chest.

“I missed this.  And you.”  She stayed silent for a few seconds.  “Don’t let me leave again,” she whispered.

“I’m in this for the long haul, Emma,” he responded.  “Are you?”

“Yes,” she answered.

He sat up abruptly.  “I’ve got something to show you.”

Grabbing her hand, he pulled her off the couch and towards their bedroom.  He walked to the bedside stand on his side of the bed and knelt down, opening the bottom drawer, affectionately dubbed his ‘robot-overlord-building drawer’ because of its eclectic contents.

He shoved several items out of the way before he found the small box he’d had in there for a few months.  He turned back to Emma, holding it out.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” she said, holding her hands out protectively.

“Calm down, Swan, I’m not proposing.  Not yet.”  He delicately held the velvet box.  “But I want you to know that I have this.”

She reached for it and tapped a finger to it as if it might bite or burn her.  When she went to open it, he closed his fist around it.  “Save some of the surprise, love.”

“Killian, why—?”

“Why am I showing you?  Because this box and its contents are my promise to you that I have no intention of letting what we have get away from me.  And right now we’ve got a lot more talking and stuff to work through so we can get back to being us.  But once we do . . .  One day, I _will_ take this box out for real.  And I will ask you to marry me.”

He watched her and tried to read her thoughts as she tried to form a response.

She met his eyes.

“Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Drop a review!


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